July 2024,
Forgiveness is something you give to yourself; therefore, either side can ask for it or give it without having been asked. Forgiveness means that you decide not to allow whatever someone did against you, to control you anymore so that you can move on with your life. You can either continue to rebuild the relationship or decide that you don’t want the person in your life anymore and not personally let the issue affect you. You won’t hold a grudge, you won’t ignore them if you see them unintentionally or through other people. You simply let go of the incident. It happened; it wasn’t right, but it’s over, and you move on. When they ask you to forgive, they want a chance to make amends without hitting the brick wall of an angry grudge. Forgiveness is peace from holding on to a burden; you only have to do it once. Angry grudges are something we burden ourselves with 24/7/365; unleash yourselves from that prison. It doesn’t make them right, let them off the hook, or what they did acceptable; it makes YOU feel all right, you accept, you let yourself off the hook.
We are ALL human and prone to mistakes, letting go of living the past events over and over gives us freedom to take control of our lives. It requires so much energy to relive the past when we are trying to live in the present and prepare for the future. Forgiveness is peace from holding on to a burden.
“Resolve the past then let it go, the future is yours; TAKE THE RIDE.”
Thinking someone is not good enough is not their problem, it’s yours. Your enthusiasm for others works with most people. You cannot change them, so accept that they are choosing to be who they are, and you should do the same. I have learned to be happy again. I still believe in the good in people after betrayal, and have no bitterness after being hurt. If I didn’t heal the pain of my past, I could never be this happy today or expect to be in the future. You can only be a victim if you choose to stay one, and I refuse; I deserved better than that, so now I will make things better for myself.
In Apologies, we must let them know that we are aware of the damage we caused and try to let them know that we know how what we did might have made them feel. First, we need to give thought to how we would feel if someone did what we did, to us. That understanding of how others feel is known as empathy which goes a long way to show them that we fully understand how our action caused them to feel.
Don’t expect forgiveness, because you apologize, that is up to them based on how sincere we are with regret and empathy, but we can further add what actions we will be doing to hold ourselves accountable in the future so we do not repeat the offense. This creates a willingness for them to have more open mindfulness to receive a request from us for forgiveness and an offer to make amends. We should also let them know that we didn’t intend to harm them and that we made a terrible mistake.
Hopefully they will say thank you for the apology and even if they walk away to think about it, forgiveness will come.
We have done everything we can to make it right without an excuse for our behavior. Don’t say the word but, but means cancel what I said and listen to what I’m going to say. Uh uh don’t do that, People do not want to hear us justify ourselves or blame someone or something else which makes apologies useless. Be sincere and calm.
Apologies can be difficult. It’s hard to find the right words when you are trying to apologize. You may feel very emotional and have regret or feelings of devastation, but these words may not accurately convey how you truly feel. That’s why it’s important to remember to say, “I’m sorry.” These simple words can go a long way in mending a broken relationship. But that’s not all, you need to be specific in your apology and acknowledge what you are apologizing for. This shows that you understand the impact of your actions and that you take full ownership of them. In addition to saying sorry and taking ownership, it’s also important to show the other person that you have learned from your mistake and that it won’t happen again. This is where you explain why it won’t happen again and that you had no intent to harm. This not only shows that you have reflected on your actions, but it also reassures the other person that they can trust you in the future.
It’s important to show gratitude to the person you are apologizing to and to let them know that you value their presence in your life and that you are happy to have them in your life. So, choose to make your moment, and theirs, better by saying “I’m sorry” and meaning it. It’s free, it’s not much trouble, and it can’t hurt to smooth the way forward and move on. Tell them, “I’m happy I have you in my life, despite the mistake that I made. This small gesture can make a big difference in the way your apology is received. Always remember the best apology is changed behavior. Don’t repeat what you apologize for. You can’t change the past, use it to make yourself a better person rather than dwell on it. Every memory good or bad can be used to improve who you are.
Making a genuine apology can be a way to not only make things right with the other person but also to bring peace to yourself. It’s important to remember that apologizing doesn’t mean you are admitting defeat, but rather you are choosing to take control of the situation and make it better.” It takes strength and courage to release the hold that someone else’s wrongdoing has on you. It’s not about excusing their actions or pretending that it never happened, but rather, it’s about recognizing that you have the power to decide how much weight their transgression holds in your life. You can choose to cling to anger and resentment, or you can choose to let go and move forward. Once you have made the conscious decision to let go, it’s important to follow through with it completely. This may mean actively working on repairing the relationship or it may mean cutting ties completely. Whatever path you choose, the key is not to let the issue consume you. You are in control and you are choosing to release the negative emotions that have been holding you back. It’s not always easy to release the hurt and pain caused by someone else’s actions, but it’s essential for your own well-being. By freeing yourself from the burden of holding a grudge, you are allowing yourself to move on and live your life peacefully on your terms. You have the power to decide when enough is enough and to choose happiness and peace over anger and resentment. Trust in yourself and your ability to let go and move forward. Decide to permit yourself, to do these things so your life can find the happiness you deserve without a grudge to bear. You won’t have to ignore them, you can exist with them be kind, and be human. The incident happened, it wasn’t right, but it’s over and you lived through it.
If you have questions or other ideas about apologies and forgiveness? Post them in the comments.
Lauraina Bashir