April 2024,
I learned to have a good relationship with myself. After all, I was all I had, and things were not looking good. If you aren’t caring for yourself, you can’t successfully relate to others. Your confidence in your ability to say and do the right thing can cause others to listen more respectfully. Knowing yourself before speaking with others will make you less likely to encounter a bad response. You can be composed, confident, and more articulate with what you want to say, and create better outcomes when difficulties come your way.
Building healthy relationships has become increasingly important. Whether it’s with ourselves, romantic partners, family members, friends, or colleagues, nurturing love and connection is a vital aspect of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. I understand the value of healthy relationships and aspire to provide valuable insights and guidance to avoid relationships that could become unhealthy. Choosing the right partner is crucial to healthy relationships, so to be in one, let’s start with us. Here, in this blog, you can learn about emotional abuse and staying strong; understanding the red flags that help you become more aware of what loving partnerships are supposed to look like with communication, trust, respect, empathy, and emotional support. It’s still a man’s world. We cannot change them, but we can change how we respond. Investing in healthy relationships not only brings joy and fulfillment but also contributes to one’s overall well-being and happiness. So, take the first step toward building a stronger and more meaningful life for yourself, using better tools and logic, when seeking relationships. We can’t fall for the flowery words we hear anymore, we need to use our brains more than our ears.
My life has been far from perfect. I was raised to value respect and kindness, I was never scolded or yelled at, but as an adult, I learned that not everyone shared the qualities my father taught me. I have faced many complicated relationships, both personally and professionally. I have encountered difficult, angry, and abusive individuals, including liars, scammers, cheaters, charmers, and heartbreakers. Some of them blamed me when their selfish intentions were exposed. Despite their attempts to exploit my calm, compassion, and understanding, I refused to fall apart or lose my temper. Instead, I stayed true to my character even in the most challenging situations and greatest losses. People often get angry when they realize they cannot manipulate someone who stands their ground. I have learned to be patient in the face of adversity, which can be frustrating for those who seek to exploit others.
My patience has become my strength, allowing me to step back, think things through, and protect myself with confidence and composure. I didn’t need aggression to win, I needed strength and patience so I could walk away and hold my head up. I have faced numerous challenges as a woman, a caregiver, a landlady, and the wife of a very manipulative and deceitful man. I have been called names, mislabeled, degraded, and physically abused. My life was seriously threatened to end in a horrible death. However, I have learned to separate their words from my own identity. I refuse to be affected by their actions and instead, maintain my composure and continue moving forward. Living with someone who constantly threatens you and manipulates you teaches you a lot about self-preservation and psychology. But I have learned well, and I will not let anyone break me or define who I am. In my situation, failure to do these things could have killed me.
When your life is threatened and you are trapped, you need strength
not tears, a strength that you never knew you had until faced with a life-threatening situation. I had to rely on my instincts and mental fortitude to survive. I learned that to survive such challenging circumstances, I needed to be mentally strong and resilient. But it wasn’t an easy journey. I faced many obstacles and challenges that tested my limits; giving up was never an option. However, I refused to let anyone break me or define who I was. I knew that giving in to fears and tears would only make things worse for me. So I dug deep within myself and found the strength to keep going and I pushed forward no matter how difficult things got. That’s when I truly discovered the extent of my inner strength.
Looking back, I am grateful for the experience, as it taught me the importance of self-preservation and the power of the human mind. It also showed me that even in the most dire and hopeless situations, there is always a glimmer of hope and a chance to overcome. My story may have brought me close to death, but it also brought the birth of my strength and resilience, which I will carry with me for the rest of my life, and was a formidable force for my abuser to break.
Make sure you take care of yourself first. Lauraina Bashir